November 5th

Teachable Moments

            Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about the when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

            The end of the day has two very important functions for me.  The hours between 9pm and midnight are when I get most of my writing done.  They are also when I grab a few minutes alone with each of my children and talk with them for a little while before saying goodnight and praying for them.

            Most nights we simply go over the next day’s schedule and review the highs and lows of the day.  But there are also times when we go unexpectedly deep.  I’ve found that spending time with teens involves large amounts of pure, dumb time as well as always being ready for the sudden appearance of a teachable moment.  We never know when they will appear or what will be the catalyst, but there are times when a question or a feeling nag our kids so much that they just have to ask questions about our life or our faith or how to respond to the chaos of life.

            God told the Israelites to tell their children about God and His commandments.  Share who God is and why you follow Him when you are hanging at home or going on a road trip.  Have the law and nature of God carried on your body and posted in your home.  Why?  Simply put, Faith is not contagious.

            A person cannot become a believer simply by being around someone else.  They cannot be a believer simply by imitating someone else.  This is a decision that every single person has to make for themselves.  And yet we do not talk about why we acted the way that we did or how we have connected with God when we talk with our kids.  We leave it up to them to watch us and figure it out.  If we do not provide an explanation, someone else will, and it will usually be incorrect.

            We spend a lot of time asking our kids why they did something.  We spend very little time explaining why we did something or how we wrestle with our faith.  I will often talk to my kids during the car ride home from youth group.  I will explain why we studied the passage and what I chose to focus on and why I chose that section and how it has impacted me so that they can see my thought process.  We will talk about where our group is at and what they need and how to address the questions that they are wrestling with.  My daughter thinks that I am a child psychologist because I think so much about where the behaviors of their peers come from.   I don’t need them to think exactly like me, but I want them to see that it is normal, and even helpful, to engage your brain and your heart and your prayer life as you are trying to navigate your way through this world.

            My kids know lots of my stories.  They know lots of my questions.  They know the places that I struggle with God and areas where it is hard for me to be faithful.  I talk about how I am working to improve and I talk about God’s goodness and grace in the midst of my failure.  I think that is a more effective way of impressing the knowledge of God upon my children’s hearts than hanging bathroom plaques and inspirational posters around the house.

A moment to reflect:

How can you share your faith process with your kids?