November 13th

Elisha Jeered

            He went up from there to Bethel; and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, “Go away, baldhead! Go away, baldhead!”  When he turned around and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.  From there he went on to Mount Carmel, and then returned to Samaria.

2 Kings 2:23-25

            I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about Elisha and about this specific passage.  He was a newly ordained prophet who just performed his first miracle, healing a town’s water supply.  He was riding high as he walked along.  Then a group of kids made fun of him and he cursed at them.  It was probably not the first time that he lost his temper and yelled at kids.  But this time his words carried with them the power of the Living God and two bears emerged from the woods and killed 42 kids because Elisha’s pride was hurt.

            I don’t think this was an intentional attack.  I think Elisha actually scared himself.  He promptly withdraws from the public eye and makes a pilgrimage across two separate countries to the mountain where his predecessor had his most famous encounter with God.  When he returns, the prophet is more seasoned, more humble and less prone to lashing out.   He went on a retreat to learn self-control and to learn more about who God is and the experience is transformative.

            I have never called down homicidal bears upon people in my anger.  As long as that is where the bar is, I am going to be good.  However, we as parents, especially we as Christian Parents, have found many more socially acceptable ways of venting our wrath upon our children which are just as unhealthy.

·         Complaining.  Sunday mornings are busy times at church.  I have several people to check in with and logistics to handle.  What I routinely hear as I am walking through the church is parents complaining about their children, often with the kids standing in earshot, and trying to get other adults to take their side in how lazy, disrespectful or stupid their child is being.  We can do this as special needs parents as well as we are so desperate to talk with someone who understands what we are going through.  General rule of thumb- if it is not something that you would be comfortable saying to your child’s face, do not say it in public.

·         Isolation.  Sometimes our life at home makes us mad.  Everything is messy and broken and falling apart and it is loud and smells bad.  All our senses are offended.  It may be wise to take some time to get out of the house and gather yourself, but that cannot be the only coping strategy.  Sending your child away or just leaving communicates clearly to a child’s heart that we wish they were not our problem to deal with.  This goes for working late.  This goes for hobbies or meeting with friends or binge watching shows.  Can we have a life? Sure.  But make sure that your life is not communicating something that you don’t believe to your kids.

·         Apathy.  Sometimes it seems that the only thing that we regularly feel with our kids is anger.  So to be safe, and make life easier on everyone, we will just not feel.  Some people lock down their emotions.  Others use medications and alcohol to dull the intensity of those feelings.  This suppresses the positive emotions as well and does nothing to heal the anger and so it just bubbles and bubbles until it explodes on those we love the most.

If you are wresting with being angry at your kids and your life and your spouse and your God, seek out help.  Find friends or therapists or pastors that you can talk to.  Pray.  Find ways to care for yourself.  All those things are important because our words and our actions have the potential to devastate our children.

            May God grant you peace, hope and joy as you move forward.

A moment to reflect:

How do you deal with your anger?