November 14th

Baby Christians

            For several days Saul was with the disciples in Damascus, and immediately he began to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, saying, “He is the Son of God.” All who heard him were amazed and said, “Is not this the man who made havoc in Jerusalem among those who invoked this name? And has he not come here for the purpose of bringing them bound before the chief priests?”  Saul became increasingly more powerful and confounded the Jews who lived in Damascus by proving that Jesus was the Messiah. After some time had passed, the Jews plotted to kill him, but their plot became known to Saul. They were watching the gates day and night so that they might kill him; but his disciples took him by night and let him down through an opening in the wall, lowering him in a basket.  When he had come to Jerusalem, he attempted to join the disciples; and they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple. But Barnabas took him, brought him to the apostles, and described for them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had spoken boldly in the name of Jesus.

Acts 9:20-27

            Baby Christians are adorable.

            I say that mostly from a place of joking.  People who have just come to know Jesus are passionate and zealous and excited to tell the world about this amazing treasure that they have discovered.  They usually do not have a lot of nuance in their faith…they have not worked through a lot of the complicated issues that come with a life of discipleship.  They just know that God loves them and He loves everyone else, too, and the world should know!

            Look at Paul.  He had this miraculous encounter with Jesus and then began his life of faith and pretty soon people wanted to kill him.  He applied all of his considerable intellect and his articulate words and his zeal and passion towards his new life.  Where he had once been the primary persecutor of the church, now he was its biggest champion.  It took a while for other believers to accept this change and that attitude was directly due to Barnabas vouching for his new brother.  

            Barnabas came alongside the new believer and showed him how to live in this new reality.  When should someone speak?  When should they listen?  How should they pray?  How do you talk to people without them trying to kill you?  What did Jesus teach?  All these things Paul did not know and he needed time and a mentor to grow in his faith and his relationship with Jesus.

            Baby Christians may be adorable.  Baby Special Needs Parents are not.

            The first place that I see it is the eyes.  Our eyes tend to be a combination of a fatigue-induced daze and wild-eyed panic.  Someone who is just getting a diagnosis about their child has no idea what to do next…who to talk to or what to do.  Some turn to research.  Some turn to drinking.  Some turn to work.  Some turn to prayer.  Are we supposed to start a notebook?  Is it something that we did?  Will they ever grow out of it?  These and millions of other questions cascade through our minds as we look around in a panicked daze.

            You know who has the answers to these questions?  Usually nobody.  The doctors might have some suggestions.  The school might have some resources.  A friend of a friend might have read a book because their kids as Asperger's.  And yet we are the ones who go back home at night and work through the anxiety and the sleep issues.  We are the ones who endure the confusion and the pain and the recommendations that just don’t work.  No one really has the answers; we just have to figure them out as we go along.  That is incredibly daunting for people who are already running on minimal sleep.

            How are we to support parents who are just now stepping into the IDD world?  What do I wish that I had way back in the beginning?

·         Someone to talk in addition to my spouse.

·         A regular baby-sitting time that we could schedule weekly that would allow us to have a short break.

·         Someone to help do things that fell through the cracks like home repair, dishes, mowing the grass and other menial chores.

·         Someone who would pray with me and help me work through all the things that were coming up in my relationship with God.

·         Someone who wanted to engage with my son that we did not have to pay.

·         Someone who could tell me that we were on a good path and doing good things because they had walked down the same road.

There are a myriad of ways that we can help parents who are just entering this world.  We are actually the ones who are in the best position to do that as we can share our laughter and our tears and our stories to let these new, overwhelmed men and women know that they are not alone and their children are not mistakes.

A moment to reflect:

Do you know any new IDD parents?  How can you come alongside them and support them?