May 7

Do Not Worry

             He said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.  Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!  And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!  And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying. For it is the nations of the world that strive after all these things, and your Father knows that you need them.  Instead, strive for his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Luke 12:22-31

“Do Not Worry.”

You might as well tell us to fly to the moon and back.  From the moment I first held my newborn son in my arms, my mind raced to make sure I was attending to all the details that he would need to survive and thrive.  Was he healthy?  Was he a good temperature?  Did we have the right clothing for him?  Was the car seat properly installed?  Maybe I should go check it one more time.

When we found out that he was on the Autism Spectrum, the mind only shifted into a higher gear.  Would he ever be able to talk?  Would he be able to learn?  Would he have friends or be on the outside looking in?  Would he need us to look after him when he was grown?  What would happen when we got old and needed care?

Every day as a parent hold dozens of opportunities to worry.  What did they eat?  Who is trying to influence my child?  Having fun sure looks a lot like the prequel to an emergency room visit…should I intervene?  Do they know Jesus?  Are we preparing them to survive on their own in the world?  What is that smell?

Even as I write these questions down, I feel the familiar grip in my chest as worry tries to creep into my heart and overwhelm my mind.  Worry invites us to project our fears into the future and think through the horrible consequences.  The thing about an imagined future is that we have no ability to change it.  It is just a story…a story where terrible things happen to people that we love very, very much.

How do we defeat worry?  We know what can happen with our kids.  We have heard stories and read articles.  We know that their quality of life and life expectancy tend to be much lower than their typical peers.  We know how hard this world is for people who do not have extra challenges.  How could we not worry when we are sending our baby sheep out the door every morning into a world infested with wolves?

First off, we remember who their Shepherd is.  Jesus holds these little ones dear to His heart.  He describes Himself as the Good Shepherd who protects and defends and guides and provides for His flock.  Every morning when I send my son to school, I say a prayer that Jesus will guide him through his day, protect him from danger and give him what he needs.  That is not worry; that is entrusting what is most valuable to me to Jesus.

Next, we live in the present.  Where is my child now?  What does he need right now?  Worrying about the future pulls us out of the present and the present is where our children are.  Engage with them.  Play with them.  Study with them.  Relax with them.  The single greatest foundation that they will have to stand on in the future is their relationship with their parents.  If that is shaky, everything else will seem fragile too.

Make a plan.  Just because we should not worry about the future does not mean that we should not think about the future.  There are major life events on the horizon for our kids:  school, romantic relationships, living outside of our home, travelling, getting a job, getting a drivers license.  All of these will take preparations and practice.  Think about goals and small steps that can be taken towards the goals.  Worry has far fewer footholds when we have already devoted time and resources to thinking through the future.

Be willing to deviate from the plan.  The plan exists to serve your child…your child does not exist to serve the plan.  Sometimes we find that there is new information that means that the plan needs to change.  Your kid discovers that they love cooking and would rather pursue that field than go to college.  Plans can be changed with a little time and effort…they are a tool, not the end goal.

Pray.  Worry is an internal problem that needs an internal solution.  Seek God when that cold grip tightens inside your chest and your minds races to terrible conclusions.  Ask for peace.  Ask for hope.  Go on a walk with Jesus and look at the birds and the trees and the flowers and the grass.  Allow Him to remind you of the words from Luke about how God clothes and cares for all of creation and will care even more for you and your child.

A moment to reflect:

What do you worry about most?  How could you release that to God?