May 14

David and Bathsheba

            In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab with his officers and all Israel with him; they ravaged the Ammonites, and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. It happened, late one afternoon, when David rose from his couch and was walking about on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; the woman was very beautiful. David sent someone to inquire about the woman. It was reported, “This is Bathsheba daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” So David sent messengers to get her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. (Now she was purifying herself after her period.) Then she returned to her house. The woman conceived; and she sent and told David, “I am pregnant.”

2 Samuel 11:1-5

King David had Uriah, one of his best and most loyal soldiers, killed and took his wife, Bathsheba, as his own.  This happened because before this, the king got Uriah drunk and tried to send him home to sleep with Bathsheba, but the soldier refused.  Because before this, Bathsheba told David that she was pregnant.  Because before this, David seduced and slept with her.  Because before this, David saw a beautiful woman bathing and desired her.  Because before this, King David was alone in a city with only children, the elderly and women whose husbands were away.  Because before this it was the time when kings went out to war, but David stayed behind.

The single greatest moral failure in David’s life can be traced back to a decision to put himself into a compromising situation where temptation had every opportunity and David had no accountability.  He chose to stay in Jerusalem while his army and generals left to fight; he was bored and he was worried and he had no one to provide any boundaries for him.  As parents, we know that this is a recipe for bad choices and big trouble.  We spend significant amounts of energy thinking through the best scenarios for our kids and helping them avoid pitfalls.  We should do the same for ourselves.

What trips you up the most?  Sloth?  Pride?  Lust?  Anger?  If you don’t know, there is usually a fairly simple way to tell.  What makes you most upset when other people do it?  Especially what characteristic of your kids drives you the most crazy?  Often times the sins that we recognize easiest in others are the ones that we carry around ourselves.

Once you have a sin in mind that damages your life, think about when it arises the most.  We know that our kids become unreasonable when they are hungry, tired, worried and lonely.  Most of the time that is the same for adults.  The tricky thing is that we tend to live squarely in the middle of all of those.  We are isolated and going off 20 hours of sleep for the week and having Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for breakfast and stressed over what our kids are facing.  That is an environment that gives temptation every opportunity and has little accountability, just like David.

There are some simple ways to get out of there:

·         Choose to eat well.  It is remarkable how much this can change the course of your day.

·         Get some sleep.  Easier said than done, but probably the most important one on this list.  Our lives became so much saner when my son started sleeping.  This may require some creativity.  Enlist a friend to watch your kid for an hour while you nap.  Take turns with your spouse through the night.  Prioritize getting sleep when you can.  It will keep your mind, heart and body healthier.

·         Find community.  Set up play dates or dinners with others.  Invite people into your life instead of circling the wagons and hiding from the world.  Not everyone will respond well to your lifestyle, but those that do are gold.

Put some forethought into your life just like you do with your child’s.  It will help keep you out of compromising situations like David and it will provide a more peaceful and supportive home for your child to grown in.

A moment to reflect:

What do you usually do when you are hungry, tired, lonely or worried?