May 27

Asking Big

            In the month of Nisan, in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was served him, I carried the wine and gave it to the king. Now, I had never been sad in his presence before.  So the king said to me, “Why is your face sad, since you are not sick? This can only be sadness of the heart.” Then I was very much afraid. I said to the king, “May the king live forever! Why should my face not be sad, when the city, the place of my ancestors’ graves, lies waste, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?” Then the king said to me, “What do you request?” So I prayed to the God of heaven.

Nehemiah 2:1-4

Nehemiah is one of my favorite people in all of Scripture.  Perhaps it is because he is an administrator or perhaps it is because God does such amazing work through him, but this book holds a special place in my heart.  Nehemiah was one of the Jews who were living in exile.  The Babylonians had conquered Judea decades earlier and scattered the inhabitants around their empire.  Nehemiah finds himself as the cupbearer to the king when a messenger arrives from Jeruasalem.  The wall to the city is destroyed leaving the people vulnerable to any and all aggression against them.  The people are broken and dying.

When Nehemiah hears this he spends a season in mourning and repentance, praying to hear God’s voice and trying to discern what role he is to play with so many miles separating him from his people.  He devises a plan that will either see him killed or begin the ball rolling to something amazing.  Nehemiah needs to make a big ask of the king, but there is no way for him to do this legally.  So he decides to be visibly upset as he serves King Artaxerxes.  If the king was displeased by Nehemiah’s display of emotion, he could have his servant thrown out, imprisoned or killed.  Instead the king asks the Jew what is wrong.  Nehemiah uses the opening to explain that his homeland is oppressed and the king asks what Nehemiah wants.

Before blurting out an answer, Nehemiah takes some time to pray.  And then he takes a big breath.  And then he gives his ask.  Nehemiah wants some time off from work to go back to Jerusalem and rebuild the city walls and gate.  And he wants letters that authorize him to travel…and letters that authorize him to use timber from the king’s forests to do the work.  Nehemiah wants time off from work to lead a caravan of the king’s men to gather and use the king’s resources in order to rebuild Nehemiah’s homeland.

This is a bold request.  Like…like the kind of bold request that gets you laughed out of the room and thrown into prison.  The kind of bold that no one would think to ask because there is no way it would ever happen.  You’ve heard that it cannot hurt to ask?  This could enrage the king and drive him to make life even worse for Nehemiah and the Jews.

But Nehemiah asks.  And the king says yes…to everything.  And the hand of God is seen through the process.    

There will be things that our kids need that we as their parents have to ask for.  It could be a medical waiver.  It could be increasing access like installing a ramp or modifying the bathrooms.  It could be to turn down the music or to have something to eat different then what is on the menu.  We have actually gone out to a pizza dinner and brought along our own gluten free pizza for my son and asked the restaurant to cook it up for us.  Large or small, there will be something that we need to ask for.

Nehemiah offers a couple of great examples on how to ask. 

·         Be strategic.  Think through who needs to hear the request and what the best approach would be to have the best experience.

·         Pray.  Ask God what to ask for and what He is doing through both the giver and the receiver.

·         Be Bold.  Ask big.  Don’t just ask for the bare minimum but be real with what your family needs.  Nehemiah asked for outlandish things and they were all granted.

·         Remember God is the giver.  He is giving through the other person to you.  If this person says no, then ask God who He is wanting to give through instead and go find them.

A moment to reflect:

What is something big that your family needs?  Who could you ask?