9/8/21

 Firstborn of Creation

            He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation; for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers—all things have been created through him and for him. He himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together. He is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, by making peace through the blood of his cross.

Colossians 1:15-20

            Today was one of those days.  Nothing tragic happened.  There were no emergency room visits or big fights.  It was just another day where my son was distant and anxious and I could not figure out how to connect with him.  I tried several different approaches and finally accepted that he just wanted to be alone with his books as he worked through whatever he was dealing with.

            I sit in a dark, quiet house after everyone has gone to bed as I try to write.  And what I find is that I am accompanied by a deep sense of sadness and fatigue.  My son has made tremendous strides in the past 15 years.  He has grown in places that we never imagined that he would make progress and we are piecing together a path that leads to a solid future.  That is more than many of us can say for our children.

            But my heart is broken because there is a rift that I cannot cross between my son and I.  Will we ever have a meaningful talk about something beyond schedules and instructions and trivia?  Will I ever be able to speak words of encouragement or hope or wisdom to him as he struggles through this life?  Maybe not…and my life is less because of the lack.  It is not his fault.  It is not even my fault.  But I still sit with sadness tonight.

            It is times like this that I have to use discipline and willpower.  I remember Jesus.  The passage describes Jesus as the Why of creation.  He is the Purpose of life.  He is the image of the Invisible God, perfection embodied.  All of Creation, including my son, has been made through Him and for Him.  He is the One who reconciles all things to God the Almighty, including flawed fathers and special needs sons.  It is Jesus who had the first word and will have the last word as to my son’s destiny and the richness of his life, both here in the present and throughout eternity. 

            I have put my hope into the One who resides at the head of all creation.  That One promises that there will be a day when autism will not be a factor.  There will be a day when communication is clear and my son and I will have all the time that we want and all the time that we need to talk.  Tears come to my eyes as I long for that day.

            Jesus is our Hope.  He is our promise.  On the good days and especially on our bad days, the Firstborn of Creation is the reason that we can have hearts that look forward to the future with joy. 

           

A moment to reflect:

On the days that are hard with your kids, remember the hope that we have in Jesus.