9/2/21

 Doing Good on the Sabbath

             He left that place and entered their synagogue; a man was there with a withered hand, and they asked him, “Is it lawful to cure on the sabbath?” so that they might accuse him. He said to them, “Suppose one of you has only one sheep and it falls into a pit on the sabbath; will you not lay hold of it and lift it out?  How much more valuable is a human being than a sheep! So it is lawful to do good on the sabbath.”  Then he said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and it was restored, as sound as the other.  But the Pharisees went out and conspired against him, how to destroy him.

Matthew 12: 9-14

           

            There was one notable exception that the Law held for doing work on the Sabbath.  If there was unforeseen work that needed to be done to preserve the life and wellbeing of a member of the household or the household’s livestock, it was permitted.  All other work was forbidden as the Sabbath was to be a day of restoration.

            And here we come to the major hurdle of resting as a parent, especially a special needs parent: how do you rest when every moment of every day, even the sabbath, is filled with a potential crisis when your sheep falls into a pit?  Sometimes it involves our kids actually, literally falling.

            My family was invited to join another family at a public use cabin.  It was to be a weekend of fun and relaxation and bonding with potential friends.  Their kids ran around the cabin and the woods and played by the fire and did all the things that you would hope kids do when they are out in nature.  The parents spent their time cooking and talking and laughing and building things together.  Meanwhile my wife and I took turns shadowing my son to make sure that he did not get himself in a bad situation.  We would try to engage in conversation and recreation, but one eye was always firmly on where the boy was wandering.  Then a bug startled him and he ran…straight over the river bank and into the river.  He only got a little wet and we got to him before he stumbled into the current.  It was only a quick blip on the weekend, but the point was made to us and to the other family: there was no relaxing while our son was awake.

            How do we rest?  How do we follow God’s command to take a sabbath when there is potential crisis in every minute that the children are awake…and often when they are asleep as well?  I don’t have great answers for that.  I know that there are a lot of things that I do not want.

·         I don’t want to blame my kids for my not being able to rest

·         I don’t want to just ignore God’s call into rest

·         I don’t want to burn out

·         I don’t want to sacrifice my son’s safety

·         I don’t want to be terrified of what might happen at all times of the day

The call is in Scripture to rest and take a sabbath.  The call is in Scripture to lay down our lives for those whom we love.  The call is in Scripture to trust in God and allow Him to hold those things that we hold dearest.  Here are a couple of things that I think are helpful in balancing all of this:

·         Make rest a priority.  God does not call us into a sabbath just to be on a power trip.  He knows that there is a rhythm of work and rest that we have been created for.  Without one of those elements, we will break down.

·         Find a safe space for rest.  If your child is a wanderer and falls into pits and wells and rivers, have your rest times be someplace that you can feel comfortable in.  It could be your house.  It could be going on drives in your car.  It could be during school or day care hours. 

·         Don’t go it alone.  My wife and I tended to alternate who got to take a break for a while.  It did not do much for the two of us bonding, but we were the only ones that we could rely on.  If the other parent is not in the picture, find a friend, relative or employee who can watch your child while you take a break and are restored.

·         Pray that God will provide.  God has good things to give you.  Ask Him for opportunities to receive them.

·         Be interruptible.  You have a day of rest carved out.  You have coverage for your kid and get some valuable time with Jesus.  And then something happens and you are needed right away.  The temptation is to be bitter and resentful.  Let it go.  Look at Jesus on the sabbath.  He was not angry that someone needed to be healed on the day of rest; He knew that God would take care of Him, even if it was not on His anticipated schedule.  It is lawful…it is blessed and honored…to do good and care for someone else, even in the holy moments of rest.

           

A moment to reflect:

How could you rest this week?