9/22/21
Wrestling with God
Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then the man said, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.”
Genesis 32:24-28
Sometimes a relationship with God is joyful and peaceful, filled with praises and hallelujahs. Sometimes that same relationship is overflowing with disagreements and contention and aggression and struggle.
Jacob was meeting his estranged brother in the morning and it was a very real possibility that Esau would kill him. That night Jacob talked with God…not in a peaceful, “It is well with my soul,” kind of way. He fought and he wrestled and he struggled and he refused to submit even when his hip was put out of socket.
God did not seem offended. He did not seem insulted by Jacob’s lack of meekness. He did not call down lightning on the man for blasphemy. The Creator of the Universe wrestled through the night with a mortal and in the morning, He blessed Jacob with a new name.
Disagreeing with God is not evil. Arguing with God is not evil. Yelling at God is not evil. What I have discovered through the years is this: God can take it.
In fact, I think that God would rather that we wrestle with Him as opposed to being quiet and not bothering anyone. One of those is a real expression of faith and relationship and it is not the quiet one. Above all else, God wants us to be real and honest with Him. Tell Him what we really think about our life and how we really feel about what is happening with our kids. God already knows what is in our hearts better than we do. Pretending that we are fine is insulting to Him and damaging to us.
My son loved to wrestle with me when he was little. We would roll on my bed. He would pounce. I would roll over him. He would ride on my back like a horse and I would buck him off. He would try to pin me; I would toss him around. I was in no danger of losing, so why do it? That was how my son could interact and communicate back then so that is where I met him.
Sometimes we are so angry and so overwhelmed that the only place that we can meet God is in conflict. We have to yell. We have to blame. We have to have some way of venting all of the pain and stress that we are carrying around with us, and sometimes it is just too big for journaling. Sometimes we just have to pounce on our Heavenly Father because that is all that we have room for in our hearts and minds.
Family medical crisis? Job falling apart? Services not working? Feel like you are going to explode? Explode at Jesus. He can take it and you are at the end of your rope. Wrestle with God…pour out all your anxiety and fear and anger. Then when you have exhausted yourself, listen for His words of encouragement and blessing. He meets us where we are, even when that place is dark and aggressive.
A moment to reflect:
Where do you need to wrestle with God instead of meekly sitting still?
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