April 26

Parable of the Bridesmaids

            “Then the kingdom of heaven will be like this. Ten bridesmaids took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise.  When the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them; but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps.  As the bridegroom was delayed, all of them became drowsy and slept.  But at midnight there was a shout, ‘Look! Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’  Then all those bridesmaids got up and trimmed their lamps.  The foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’  But the wise replied, ‘No! there will not be enough for you and for us; you had better go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.’  And while they went to buy it, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went with him into the wedding banquet; and the door was shut.  Later the other bridesmaids came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’  But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I do not know you.’ Keep awake therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.

Matthew 25:1-13

             Waiting.

            Waiting is hard.  It is hard for adults.  It is hard for kids.  It is especially hard for kids who have special needs.  It is a special kind of torture for parents who have kids who have special needs.  There is nothing quite like having your child with you when you are standing in line for something.  There is a clock ticking in my head, counting down the seconds until my kid has an episode or starts crying or gets bored and starts annoying the people around me…who happen to already irritable because they are tired of waiting.  How important is this task that has us standing in line?  Can it be done another day because I can feel the meltdown, and the resulting fallout, coming.

            Jesus tells a story about waiting and being prepared.  Some of the bridesmaids thought through how to prepare themselves well as they waited for the return of the groom.  Others just decided to wing it and ended up missing out on the festivities.  Keep yourself ready, Jesus teaches, because you don’t know when I will come back.

            We had to travel a lot when my son was young.  Travel is just another way of saying “sit still for hours on end.”  Car rides usually were okay as there were things to look at out the window and we could play preferred music or stories during the trip.  Airplane flights, however, had more people, less interesting scenery and were much more uncomfortable.  We would fly for four hours then have a multiple-hour layover where we had to wait for our next flight.  These layovers were essential to having a good trip.

            Layovers were where my son could get his energy and volume out so that we could have another three hours of quiet activities on the plane.  We would run up and down the terminal until his little legs got tired then we would find someplace to play a loud game like stacking cups.  I would build up a tower of stacking cups and he would knock them down over and over and over again.  Then it was back to running the hallways.  Then it was more stacking cups.  Throw in some snack and bathroom breaks and then resume the running and stacking.  The plan was to get out as many wiggles as we could so that we could read and color and sleep on the next leg of our journey.  It mostly worked.

            Waiting with your kids can feel like watching a ticking time bomb or it can be a time of preparation for your next event.  I have found that the difference lies in how prepared we are.  Did we bring snacks?  Did we bring diapers or changing supplies?  Did we bring games or books that they are interested in?  Are there observation games that we have taught them like “I spy” or “Find the Alphabet”? 

            One of the ways that we made it through IEPs with my son was to bring paper and crayons.  I would draw “Aa is for apple.  Bb is for banana” through the alphabet…usually twice by the time the meeting was over.  Preparation is everything when headed into a situation where your child is going to have to wait quietly for something.

           

A moment to reflect:

How do you prepare for your child to successfully get through waiting times?