April 18

The Spirit given to us

            For this reason I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is within you through the laying on of my hands; for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:6-7

           

            I lost my son once.  In Denali National Park.  Where there are hundreds of square miles of wilderness that have more animal foot traffic than human.  We were on a class camping trip.  Three days of camping in the snow with 3^rd and 4^th graders.  The final morning he asked if he could walk to the morning campfire while I was getting ready.  We had made the short walk two dozen times in two days.  I was confident that he knew the way so I let him go.  Five minutes later I showed up at the campfire and did not see the boy.  No one had seen the boy.  The worst case scenario generator began firing in my brain.  I made a lap of the campground.  Nothing.  I made another lap, trying to remain calm but already working through emergency contingencies as fear pulled at my heart and mind.

            I stopped at the entrance to our tent and prayed.  I asked God to help me find my son and help me to think like him so I could figure out where he had gone.  The Fear subsided to a dull buzz instead of an oppressive weight.  I looked around and tried to figure out where I would wander to if I was not paying very close attention.  There was a small nature trail ahead of us, on the other side of the road that led to our campfire.  I went jogging up the trail for a ways and saw a figure in the distance, standing alone and throwing pine cones into the air.  My son had realized that he was lost but knew that it was morning so he did not want to blow his panic whistle and risk waking up others in the campground.  So he decided to send a distress signal by throwing pine cones above the tree line.  I just shook my head as we walked back to camp, gratitude and wonder rushing through my veins while my knees shook as the adrenaline worked its way out of my system.

            God has not given us a spirit of cowardice or temerity or fear or whatever word your Bible translation uses.  It is not His intent that we live in a state of fear and paralysis, and yet there are opportunities to choose fear and panic every single day of our lives.  Fear of loss.  Fear of pain.  Fear that this is the day that it all comes crashing down.  So many things can go wrong, every single day, that could have catastrophic consequences.

            We have the choice.  Since every day has dangers and potential disasters, we have the choice.  We can live in fear.  We can lash out at others; we can try controlling the world around us; we can avoid all risk; we can cut ourselves off from the outside world; we can choose a life of fear.

            Or we can choose a life of faith…a life of power and love and self-discipline.  We can act boldly and take risks make our opinions and voices heard because God has given us all the power that we need to deal with our life and impact our world.  We can interact with others with grace and mercy and compassion, even when people don’t deserve it, because we know that because we have been freely loved, we are free to love others.  We can walk through a world that is filled with danger because we have self control; the fear is there but we control it, it does not control us.

            When fear hits us like a tidal wave and we are drowning, take a moment.  Calm your mind and call out to God.  Allow your heart to rest in the knowledge that He is carrying us through the crisis.  Be open to listening to the whispers of advice and encouragement that He gives.  God does not disappear in the crisis.  He does not change in the crisis.  He is with us and He is good and He gives us power and love and self-discipline in order to remember that and work through the fear. 

           

A moment to reflect:

When are you most afraid for your child?