April 14

Ruth and Naomi

             But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters, why will you go with me...No, my daughters, it has been far more bitter for me than for you, because the hand of the Lord has turned against me.” Then they wept aloud again. Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. So she said, “See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.” 

            But Ruth said, “Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die—there will I be buried. May the Lord do thus and so to me, and more as well, if even death parts me from you!” When Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more to her.

Ruth 1:11-18

           

            There are two types of family that we have in this world:  The Family that we were Given and the Family that we Choose.  The two categories may complement each other and get along fabulously in your life.  They may be rivals and hate each other.  They may fit into clear categories and roles or it could take twenty minutes to explain to a stranger who they are and how they are connected to you.  They are both deeply impactful on who we are and how we react to the world.     

            Every once in a while, someone may fall into both categories.  Ruth does this with Naomi.  She did not choose to marry Naomi’s son; it was an arranged marriage.  She became Naomi’s daughter-in-law and then her husband died.  Naomi tried to send her away, but Ruth refused.  She chose to become Naomi’s daughter and follow her to the end of her days.

            Naomi is in a dark place.  Her husband has died.  Both of her sons have died.  She has no income, no prospect of remarriage or having new heirs.  She changes her name to Mara, meaning “bitterness,” to reflect that she is angry that her God has turned against her.  She is returning to her home on the off chance that someone might help her not die, but hope is not in her heart.

            Ruth sees the despair covering her mother-in-law.  She is given the opportunity to walk away.  She has her own problems to deal with and attaching herself to a widow is not a recipe for success.  But she will not abandon Naomi to the darkness that is looking to overwhelm her.

            How do we support our friends and family in tragedy?  Often it is simply following in Ruth’s footsteps.  We participate in the Ministry of Presence.  We come alongside the person in pain and let them know that we are with them.  Telling them that our thoughts and prayers are with them even when we are not is ineffective.  Telling them how they should feel or what they should do or how we made it through a hard time is ineffective.  Telling them that their tragedy is part of God’s master plan is ineffective.  Sitting with them, allowing them to vent, praying with them, helping them with the tangible and immediate tasks that they need to accomplish…these are activities of the Ministry of Presence that can help our suffering friends move through their grieving process.

            Do you know who can be great assets in the Ministry of Presence?  Our kids.  Inviting our friends over to be with us as we care for our children has been an incredibly positive experience.  Our kids are all about just being with each other.  They don’t want to talk about feelings or future.  They don’t want to bring up painful subjects.  They just want to eat and read their favorite books and do their routine step by step and be with people who love them.  Sometimes they will say something inappropriate, but it is usually easily excused or it is just what our friend needed to hear.

            The ministry of Presence is a powerful healing tool and our kids have the potential to be highly effective ministers.

           

A moment to reflect:

Do you know someone who could use the Ministry of Presence?