October 9th

The Wolf and the Lamb

            The wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them.  The cow and the bear shall graze, their young shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. The nursing child shall play over the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put its hand on the adder’s den. They will not hurt or destroy on all my holy mountain; for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.

Isaiah 11:6-9

             

                We tried having pets a couple of times, guinea pigs and a rabbit.  Unfortunately, they were as high maintenance as our kids and when given the choice between our children and our animals, we decided to keep the ones who could look after us when we got old.  What became clear as we raised pets was that there were some things that we could train them in and there were some things that were simply bound to their instinct.  Finding the right place to eat and the right place to pee?  We had that pretty well set.  Snuggling with our kids instead of running away and hiding?  We were never able to get over that defense mechanism.

                Animal instinct is a powerful force.  It keeps the creatures safe and fed.  It directs them on when to migrate and when to mate and when to flee from danger.  The excerpt above paints a picture of animals operating far outside of their instincts.  Predator and prey rest together.  Carnivores go vegan.  There is no circle of life or survival of the fittest or links in the food chain.  There is peace and security as the knowledge of the Lord covers the land.

                I have worked with youth for nearly twenty years.  Their natural instincts blaze like a blinking neon sign.  Eventually they develop socially-acceptable coping skills and are able to harness those instincts for their benefit instead of being ruled by them.

                Our kids are often unable to make that step.  Their instincts drown out everything else as they navigate a world that is filled with danger and rejection.  The day services center was a constant parade of fight-or-flight responses.  One client charged down two flights of stairs, through two sets of doors and across four separate rooms with care providers trying to redirect him because he thought his provider might be taking a call and that triggered him.  He found her, found her phone and threw it away…and then was perfectly calm and happy for the rest of the day.

                There will come a day where our instincts do not rule us…where self-preservation and fear and aggression will be tools that we no longer need because we know God.  There will come a day where peace and contentment are our defining characteristics.  There will come a day where our kids are not driven to panic by invisible forces.  Until that day comes, it is helpful as a parent to think long and hard about what behaviors we can help our children develop and what we simply need to manage.  Pick your battles well so that everything does not have to turn into a conflict. 

                Instinct is a powerful force.  One day God will bring complete peace.  Until then we work and we pray for growth for our precious ones.

             

A moment to reflect:

What do you think is instinct with your child?  Where do you think you could help them train and develop?