August 28th

Revelations

             And I saw a beast rising out of the sea, having ten horns and seven heads; and on its horns were ten diadems, and on its heads were blasphemous names. And the beast that I saw was like a leopard, its feet were like a bear’s, and its mouth was like a lion’s mouth. And the dragon gave it his power and his throne and great authority.  One of its heads seemed to have received a death-blow, but its mortal wound had been healed. In amazement the whole earth followed the beast. They worshiped the dragon, for he had given his authority to the beast, and they worshiped the beast, saying, “Who is like the beast, and who can fight against it?” The beast was given a mouth uttering haughty and blasphemous words, and it was allowed to exercise authority for forty-two months. It opened its mouth to utter blasphemies against God, blaspheming his name and his dwelling, that is, those who dwell in heaven.

Revelations 13:1-6

            If you remember yesterday’s passage at all, you will see a couple of similarities.  Daniel saw a vision of four beasts including a lion, a bear, a leopard and a creature with wings.  John’s vision sees a single beast rising from the sea that has characteristics of a leopard, a bear, a lion and a creature with wings.  Modern day readers of Revelations get lost in the imagery quickly.  We ask, what is happening in this vision?  Is it the past?  Is it the future?  Is it the end times?  Who is the beast and where is it coming from?  We look for clues in the rest of the book and in history and in bible commentaries.  And usually we just shrug and move on to the next confusing imagery of Revelations with a, “Huh.  That’s weird.”

            The original readers of John’s book would not have been so dismissive for they had been raised on the stories of the Old Testament and on the writings of the prophets.  They would have known Daniel and the images and narratives would have built on an understanding of the existing scriptures.  They understood the context that John was speaking into and so they had a deeper understanding of what was being communicated.  Did they get it?  Did they understand everything that the apostle was writing about?  Probably not, but they likely understood more.

            My son speaks in pictures and quotes and made up emotional descriptions and encyclopedia entries.  The inflection of his voice, his word choice and his facial expressions are all references to words that someone or something else has said.  I watch him interact with his peers at youth group.  One of them will make a comment, usually something teenagery and snarky.  He will respond with a phrase that kind of ties in and then pause, waiting for something.  What they see is a weirdo who keeps butting in with inappropriate comments.  What they do not realize is that he has just quoted an obscure line from a Marvel movie that references an 80’s movie that is about a diner that serves the kind of ice cream flavor that they just mentioned.  He has paused after his statement, leaning in with a smile on his face, so that the other person can give the response from the original movie and then they would both be able to share a laugh together.  I will usually laugh because I understand the context.  His sister will usually share a smile, because she understands.  And no one else gets it.

            How do we help our kids communicate with the rest of the world when so much of their conversation is built around a specific context that is foreign to their typical peers?  Boy…if I knew the answer to that one, I would be rich and my son would be flooded with friends. 

·         I don’t think that the answer is to always be their interpreter.  If we always speak for them, they will never find their own voice.  

·         I don’t think that the answer is just to leave them alone to work it out.  When they get desperate enough for friendship, will they change the way they relate?  I don’t think it works that way.

So if it is not to leave them alone and it is not to take control of their communication, the answer must lie somewhere in the middle.  But there is a lot of middle ground to cover between those two extremes.  We’ve tried a number of things with varying success:

·         Debriefing conversations.  Talk about what went well and what was a challenge.

·         Conversational goals.  Give him some objectives when entering a social situation.

·         Practice and role play before social times.

·         Coach his peers in how to converse with him.  Give them some objectives to try to hit when he talks with them.

Every single one of these brings its own unique flavor of awkwardness where the successes are hard to measure and the failures are deeply painful.  But we don’t stop, because this is a code worth cracking.  He is funny and super smart and kind and he makes the people who are around him better.

            And it shatters my heart into a million pieces that people cannot see that because he talks in Mythbusters quotes.

           

A moment to reflect:

What is the context that you know that deepens your understanding of how your child communicates?  How could you bridge that with other people?