December 14th
Solomon
It pleased the Lord that Solomon had asked this. God said to him, “Because you have asked this,
and have not asked for yourself long life or riches, or for the life of your
enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is
right, I now do according to your word. Indeed I give
you a wise and discerning mind; no one like you has been before you and no one
like you shall arise after you. I give you also what you have not asked, both
riches and honor all your life; no other king shall compare with you. If you will walk in my ways, keeping my statutes
and my commandments, as your father David walked, then I will lengthen your
life.”
1 Kings 3:10-14
Just
before this passage, God asks the newly crowned king what favor he would ask of
his lord. Solomon does not ask for
military might or long life or riches…he asks for wisdom. He asks for the ability to discern good from
evil, prudent from foolish, successful from doomed. He asks to be wise above all else. God grants his request and then lavishes all
the other gifts upon him because He is so impressed at the young man’s request.
What
do I request from God when I pray? I ask
for health for my kids. I ask for
peace. I ask for the ability to
rest. I ask for hope. I ask for money. I ask for community. I ask for direction. I very, very rarely ask for wisdom. I don’t want to know the way out of my
problems. I want to have the way out. I don’t want to know how to make more
money. I want to have more money.
Here’s
where I am struggling with wisdom at the moment: Jealousy.
My facebook feed is filled with my peers who are celebrating their
children. There are pictures of Senior
Balls and Homecoming games. There are
posts about being done with parenting their teens and taking the next couple of
years to refine them into strong men and women who are ready to tackle the
world. There are college acceptance
notifications and job offers and new vehicles…meanwhile my house is reduced to
tears because we put the wrong Christmas Special on at the wrong time.
I
don’t want to be the person in the crowd who says, “Remember to not celebrate
too much because this time of year is hard on some people.” I don’t want to whine about how my son is not
going to get any of those things and life is unfair. I also do not want to just be fake while I
pretend that everything is okay. Clearly,
there are a lot of things that I do not want.
But what do I want?
I
want my son to have opportunities in this life.
I want him to have the chance to get a degree or get a good job or laugh
with friends or fall in love. I want him
to be able to give back to the world and have a community that catches him when
he falls. I want him to be able to look
at his life with pride. I want him to
have a “normal” life, but the end of high school is approaching and it looks
like this is the fork in the road where my peers’ children have a path that
diverges from my son. And I don’t know
what to do with that.
This
is where I need wisdom. This is where I
need to be able to see what is good and right and successful and given by
God. This is where I need to know that a
“normal” life will never be enough for this extraordinary boy. This is where I need to know that God is in
control and directing my son’s steps.
This is where I need to know how much to direct him and how much to let
him run free…how much to push and prod and how much to let him go at his own
pace…how much to transform my own life in order to provide the opportunities
that he deserves. Every single piece of
that requires wisdom and eyes that see what God is doing.
I
want to be able to celebrate my peers and their children. I want to be hopeful for my son and the path
that he is on. I am not there yet and I
need wisdom to get me across this chasm that I am facing.
I
guess I know what I am praying for tonight.
A moment to reflect:
Ask God for wisdom today. Try to
be as specific as you can about what questions you need answered.
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