December 11th

Life Together

          Awe came upon everyone, because many wonders and signs were being done by the apostles.  All who believed were together and had all things in common;  they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.

Acts 2:43-47

            The believers were together and had all things in common. They worshiped in the temple.  They shared what they had.  They ate together and went through life together.  This sounds so great…but I have questions.

            What did they do with the difficult ones?  What did they do with the lepers and the lame?  What did they do with the poor and the homeless?  Did the apostles just heal everyone who was sick?  Were the homeless given homes and jobs?  Did they all get along?  Did the wealthy feel taken advantage of?  Was this sustainable or did it only last for a short while in the afterglow of Pentecost?

            I love the idea of life together.  I long for a community that knows us and values us and engages with us as we move through this world.  I love the idea and I am so bad at the implementation.  Our family is challenging to get to know.  My son has his issues and they have influenced the entire rhythm of our schedule.  We have weekly appointments at the library and Tae Kwon Do and a daily routine that can only handle so much deviation before stress sets in.  Our family’s sleep schedules and school schedules have never matched up with our peers.  We tend to have dietary restrictions which limit where we can go to eat.

            However, it would be grossly inaccurate to blame all of our community issues on my son.  I am horrible at small talk and gravitate towards being alone whenever there is a gathering of people.  The only time that I tend to speak in public is when I am leading a group.  I am extremely busy and I never carve time out of my day to invest in relationships.

            It is incredibly easy to say that our lack of community is because the world cannot handle autism and its impact on our lives.  But I cannot expect other people, grown adults with their own lives and dreams and drama, to enter into a community that is 100% constructed on my terms.  The disciples all sacrificed.  They all shared.  They all received.  If we want a life with others we need to be willing to change the status quo of our lives.  Schedules may need to change.  How we talk with other people may need to change.  Where we spend our energy and creativity may need to change.

            That is the path to relationships and it has a cost that I have not been willing to pay.  There will be recovery time that my family needs.  There will be rejection.  There will be additional drama that we carry as we share the burdens of others.  Maybe that cost will not seem so intimidating now that my son is getting older and we no longer have to deal with toddler-age children.  Maybe.

            Community sounds wonderful and there is a part of my heart that deeply longs for it, but it is not free and it does not just happen by accident in our lives.   

A moment to reflect:

Is community worth the price for you?  Why?