February 17

Pearls before Swine

             Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you.

Matthew 7:6

            At first glance, this seems like a harsh saying.  As Jesus is finishing up the Sermon on the Mount he talks about not judging others and then talks about the Golden rule: doing unto others as you would want them to do to you.  Nestled in between these two is this little sentence about pearls and swine. 

            It is a simple parable.  If you give your most precious fine jewelry to pigs, they will not appreciate it.  They will try to eat it, find it to be not food, trample it and then turn against you and try to maul you.  You will have wasted your time, had your jewelry destroyed and made an enemy who is out for your destruction.  If you had just realized that the pig simply desired food, not jewelry, the entire fiasco could have been avoided.

            You possess a collection of holy moments and precious insights from your time as a child of God and as a parent.  There are some people out there who are suffering and who are isolated and who would deeply benefit from you sharing what you have learned about yourself and God and parenting.  There are others who are not interested in growing and learning; they will take your vulnerability and compassion as weakness and troll you online or turn what you care about into a meme or seek to argue just to argue.

            I have met people who have said that ADHD and Autism are just made up excuses for bad parenting.  I have met tour guides who have made fun of our clients to get a laugh from their group.  There are entire regions of the world who believe that a disability is a valid reason to terminate a pregnancy.  You can argue with these people.  You can debate.  You can lament.  You can work on educating and changing policy.  You can just ignore them. 

            People are who they are and we cannot change them.  We can give heart-rending stories and binders filled with empirical data.  We can enter into their world and invite them to enter into ours.  We can review history and scripture and philosophy until we are blue in the face.  People see what they want to see and believe what they want to believe and only God can change their hearts.  Sometimes people that we know…sometimes people that we love are just not ready to love our children and see the amazing treasure that God has placed inside of them.  It is a sad realization, but if we keep trying to champion social justice and compassion and equal rights for the disabled to someone who only wants to talk about football or the stock market, they will tune us out then get angry then lash out at us, just like in the parable.

            Be wise about what you share with whom.  Be aware of where your friends and family and church are at.  If that leaves you isolated then turn to God and ask for your community to grow with people who are ready to hear and support you.  You are stretched thin enough.  You don’t need to be fighting in every conversation that you have.

           

A moment to reflect:

Are your friends and family and church able to engage with you as you talk about your child?  If not who could?