March 8

The Beginning of Wisdom

            For learning about wisdom and instruction, for understanding words of insight, for gaining instruction in wise dealing, righteousness, justice, and equity; to teach shrewdness to the simple, knowledge and prudence to the young—let the wise also hear and gain in learning, and the discerning acquire skill, to understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their riddles.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 1:1-7

            I have found autism to be an incredible instructor in the difference between knowledge and wisdom.  My son can read every word of a full novel in the course of a few hours.  He can retain immense amounts of facts and recall them when needed.  His favorite things to read have always been encyclopedias, catalogs, Ripley’s Believe it or not trivia books and things that are high on details but low on narrative or story flow.  He is a master at internalizing what happened.  That is knowledge.  His greatest struggle is being able to tell why it happened.  That is wisdom.

            Wisdom connects the dots.  It explains why certain things came to pass and others did not and then has a predictive element.  What will happen next is a function of wisdom.  Based off of what has already happened and why it has happened, what will be the probable outcome of our next actions?  This is an incredible challenge for him.  I could ask how Bruce Wayne became Batman and be given a timeline of events recited for 5 minutes.  I could ask why Bruce Wayne became Batman and be given a blank expression.

          One of my key responsibilities as a parent is helping my son learn wisdom.  What knowledge do you use in which circumstance?  I have found three practices that are helpful in working this through:

·         Foresight.  Hopefully my son learns this one day, but for right now it is just on me.  Foresight is looking ahead and identifying challenges that may arise.  Is the environment overstimulating for his senses?  Are there things he needs to know and will be asked?  Are there social situations that he will be expected to participate in?

·         Practice.  Are there things that we can work through before the event to get him ready?  We went on a school trip to the Galapagos Islands and I knew that snorkeling would be an optional activity.  We spent 3 months of weekly swimming times learning to snorkel: getting used to the feel of water, getting used to breathing through a mask and wearing fins, having things touch your legs while you swim.

·         Debrief.  Asking how the experience was, what he learned and what he would do differently.  We made it through snorkeling in the Galapagos, just like the other kids.  Snorkeling is a skill that he has in his toolbox.  When asked about the experience, all that he will say is that the boat ride back to shore in a rainstorm was miserable…and snorkeling was ok.

Sometimes as parents we commit a lot of resources to helping our kids learn something new that they end up not liking.  That was not wasted time, that was instruction in wisdom.  They can choose to not pursue that activity any further because they know what is involved, both the good and the bad, instead of just being afraid to find out.  They are taking their knowledge and applying it…maybe not in the way that we were hoping, but they are applying it.  Growth in wisdom.

A moment to reflect:

How can you help your child grow in wisdom?