March 19

Salt and Light

        You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot. You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:13-16

            Jesus calls his listeners the salt of the earth.  In the ancient world, salt was used for seasoning food, preserving food and changing the ph balance of the soil.  It transformed anything that it encountered.  
           Jesus calls his listeners the light of the world.  Wherever it is, a light shines just as brightly.  Its effect becomes more obvious depending on how dark the surroundings are.  Those who follow Jesus are to bring transformation and light wherever we go.  We are not to blend in or disappear; we are to stand out and make a difference wherever we go.

            You know what makes standing out incredibly easy?  Our kids.  They attract all manner of attention through their noises and their hardware and their laughter and their cries.  We never blend in.  And that’s ok because that gives us the opportunity to show how we love and comfort and discipline our kids.  When people watch us they internalize what we do as the way that they should interact with the IDD community.  If we are consistently yelling at our kids and complaining about what a burden they are, that attitude will transfer to others.  If we are ignoring our kids so that we can have some grow-up conversations, that attitude will transfer to others.  If we treat our children as fragile and weak, that attitude will transfer to others.  If we are compassionate with our kids yet insist on good boundaries, that also will transfer to others.

            Disabilities freak the typical world out.  They don’t know what to say or not say.  They don’t know what to do or not do.  Should they joke?  Should they pretend that they don’t notice?  It is significantly easier to just turn the other direction and talk with someone else.  They don’t need pamphlets or books on how to act.  They don’t need more education, they need more interaction.  They need someone to show them how to be in relationship with people who have disabilities, and that person is you.  They need you to show them how to enjoy your child, how to communicate with your child, how to be with your child. 

            I’ve been noticing recently that my 12 year old daughter sounds a lot like my wife and I.  The tone of voice, the turns of phrase…she has her own spin to it, but when she talks with her brother, her parents shine through for both good and ill.  She’s been watching us, internalizing what works and what doesn’t. 

            I do not enjoy parenting in public, because it becomes embarrassing.  What if people are watching and they see me do it wrong?  What if they see me make a mistake?  Here’s what I have found.  People are watching, not to gather evidence for how you are doing it wrong but to learn how to do it right.  And if we make a mistake…I mean, when we make a mistake?  We can use that opportunity to show people how we apologize to our children and use our gaffes to build relationship.

            There are a lot of parallels here with evangelism, but I will leave it with this:  The world does not need more education about Jesus.  They don’t need to read more books and watch more videos that you give them.  They need to see your interaction with him and how it shapes your life.  You are the bridge to their relationship with Jesus just as you are the bridge to their relationship with your child.

            You are the salt and light of the world, bringing transformation everywhere you go.

A moment to reflect:

How can you parent publicly in order to help others enter into relationship with your child?