12/14/21

 Solomon

          It pleased the Lord that Solomon had asked this.  God said to him, “Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches, or for the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right,  I now do according to your word. Indeed I give you a wise and discerning mind; no one like you has been before you and no one like you shall arise after you.  I give you also what you have not asked, both riches and honor all your life; no other king shall compare with you.  If you will walk in my ways, keeping my statutes and my commandments, as your father David walked, then I will lengthen your life.”

1 Kings 3:10-14

            Just before this passage, God asks the newly crowned king what favor he would ask of his lord.  Solomon does not ask for military might or long life or riches…he asks for wisdom.  He asks for the ability to discern good from evil, prudent from foolish, successful from doomed.  He asks to be wise above all else.  God grants his request and then lavishes all the other gifts upon him because He is so impressed at the young man’s request.

            What do I request from God when I pray?  I ask for health for my kids.  I ask for peace.  I ask for the ability to rest.  I ask for hope.  I ask for money.  I ask for community.  I ask for direction.  I very, very rarely ask for wisdom.  I don’t want to know the way out of my problems.  I want to have the way out.  I don’t want to know how to make more money.  I want to have more money.

            Here’s where I am struggling with wisdom at the moment:  Jealousy.  My facebook feed is filled with my peers who are celebrating their children.  There are pictures of Senior Balls and Homecoming games.  There are posts about being done with parenting their teens and taking the next couple of years to refine them into strong men and women who are ready to tackle the world.  There are college acceptance notifications and job offers and new vehicles…meanwhile my house is reduced to tears because we put the wrong Christmas Special on at the wrong time.

            I don’t want to be the person in the crowd who says, “Remember to not celebrate too much because this time of year is hard on some people.”  I don’t want to whine about how my son is not going to get any of those things and life is unfair.  I also do not want to just be fake while I pretend that everything is okay.  Clearly, there are a lot of things that I do not want.  But what do I want?

            I want my son to have opportunities in this life.  I want him to have the chance to get a degree or get a good job or laugh with friends or fall in love.  I want him to be able to give back to the world and have a community that catches him when he falls.  I want him to be able to look at his life with pride.  I want him to have a “normal” life, but the end of high school is approaching and it looks like this is the fork in the road where my peers’ children have a path that diverges from my son.  And I don’t know what to do with that.

            This is where I need wisdom.  This is where I need to be able to see what is good and right and successful and given by God.  This is where I need to know that a “normal” life will never be enough for this extraordinary boy.  This is where I need to know that God is in control and directing my son’s steps.  This is where I need to know how much to direct him and how much to let him run free…how much to push and prod and how much to let him go at his own pace…how much to transform my own life in order to provide the opportunities that he deserves.  Every single piece of that requires wisdom and eyes that see what God is doing.

            I want to be able to celebrate my peers and their children.  I want to be hopeful for my son and the path that he is on.  I am not there yet and I need wisdom to get me across this chasm that I am facing.

            I guess I know what I am praying for tonight.

A moment to reflect:

Ask God for wisdom today.  Try to be as specific as you can about what questions you need answered.