10/28/21
Naaman
But when Elisha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had torn his clothes, he sent a message to the king, “Why have you torn your clothes? Let him come to me, that he may learn that there is a prophet in Israel.”
So Naaman came with his horses and chariots, and halted at the entrance of Elisha’s house. Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, “Go, wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored and you shall be clean.”
But Naaman became angry and went away, saying, “I thought that for me he would surely come out, and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and would wave his hand over the spot, and cure the leprosy! Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them, and be clean?” He turned and went away in a rage.
But his servants approached and said to him, “Father, if the prophet had commanded you to do something difficult, would you not have done it? How much more, when all he said to you was, ‘Wash, and be clean’?” So he went down and immersed himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; his flesh was restored like the flesh of a young boy, and he was clean.
2 Kings 5:8-14
Naaman was a mighty general for the kingdom of Aram. He was smart and strong, beloved by his soldiers, his servants and his king alike. He was rich and powerful, but none of that could help him fight leprosy, the wasting disease. The king of Aram sent him and a fortune of gold, silver and fine clothing to the king of Israel to ask that the prophets of their land heal his favorite general.
The king of Israel felt that he was being set up. He could not heal anyone and his fear was that the Kingdom of Aram would attack his people if he was not able to cure the leprosy. The King of Israel tore his clothes in despair until the prophet Elisha summoned Naaman.
The General came to the Prophet’s house, ready to do whatever it took to be healed of this incurable condition. He never actually got to see Elisha. One of the Prophet’s helpers came with a message to go wash in the local river to receive his healing. That was the entire task. Naaman stormed off, furious.
Why was Naaman so mad? Quite simply, his expectations were not met. He thought he knew how this interaction would go. He would bring his gifts to the Holy Man. The Prophet would be amazed by his generosity, awed by his reputation and inspired by his humility. He would then do his magic and healing would come, a great man receiving a great miracle.
Our expectations get us into trouble. We think we know how situations are going to play out. When things happen differently, we tend to have strong emotional reactions, even if the end result is better than we were hoping for. Naaman’s servant points out that he would have been willing to perform whatever Herculean Tasks that the Prophet appointed to him to win his healing…how much more should he be willing to follow the simple instructions? Reality was even better than the General’s expectations, but he had to work through his initial reactions first.
For us it can be as simple as being disappointed by a movie. I cannot express how deeply I loathe the Matrix 2 or The Phantom Menace, not because they are inherently bad movies, but because I had such staggeringly high expectations for the stories that they would tell and the way in which they would tell them.
Sometimes the stakes are substantially higher. My family went on lots of extended road trips when I was growing up, travelling through all sorts of different states where we had never been. The trips were filled with new sites and sounds and foods and we as kids remember those times fondly, even with the motion sickness and the long car trips and being away from home.
Fast forward a few decades and my wife and I were taking my six year old son and three year old daughter to Disneyland for the very first time and my expectations were really high. The kids would have a great time. They would build memories and our family would finally be able to have fun.
As it turned out, the characters in Disneyland freaked my son out. He turned and ran whenever he saw one which freaked my wife and I out. I ended up carrying him on my shoulders all day in the California sun so that we would not lose him. The music was too loud. There were too many people. The food was not right. He cried a lot. I got mad a lot. Eventually we went back towards our hotel, but stopped in the grocery store across the way to get some food that he would eat and we would have a nice, relaxing evening together.
The weight of the day hit me and I got sick, but my wife and daughter were somewhere else so the boy had to come along. There we were, dad and son in the public restroom stall with dad puking his brains out with one hand on the toilet and one hand holding the wrist of the boy to keep him from running away. We finally got back to our hotel room and everyone collapsed. I was so mad. Mad at myself. Mad at my son. Mad at Mickey Mouse. Mostly just mad because my expectations for this trip were so different from reality.
The kids actually had a good trip. Their favorite part was spending time in the hotel, getting to watch their regular shows and reading the books that we brought from home. It took me quite a while to see that trip as anything other than a complete disaster. Sometimes our expectations hold us back from seeing the benefits and joys of reality. Sometimes we just have to take the wins wherever we can find them.
A moment to reflect:
How are your expectations keeping your from enjoying your life at the moment?
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