10/20/21
Eutychus
On the first day of the week, when we met to break bread, Paul was holding a discussion with them; since he intended to leave the next day, he continued speaking until midnight. There were many lamps in the room upstairs where we were meeting. A young man named Eutychus, who was sitting in the window, began to sink off into a deep sleep while Paul talked still longer. Overcome by sleep, he fell to the ground three floors below and was picked up dead. But Paul went down, and bending over him took him in his arms, and said, “Do not be alarmed, for his life is in him.” Then Paul went upstairs, and after he had broken bread and eaten, he continued to converse with them until dawn; then he left. Meanwhile they had taken the boy away alive and were not a little comforted.
Acts 20:7-12
The moral here? Don’t fall asleep in church, especially if you sit in the balcony. Okay, so that is not really the central message of the passage, but it was something that the pastor would warn us about when we sat in the church’s upper section.
I like this story. I know this story. I’ve lived this story. Not the actual falling/death/resurrection part, but the scene is very familiar. There is something going on at the front of the room that is engaging and interesting and stimulating and every eye is focused on what is happening. At the back of the room, another drama is developing as a young boy is doing something that will distract from the other activities. The back of the room is where the special needs families live.
At church we would sit next to the sanctuary exits or up in the balcony so that if my son got too loud or energetic, we would not be ruining anyone else’s Sunday morning. At staff conferences I would pace back and forth in the back of the room, carrying my son or bouncing him or swinging his car seat back and forth as I tried rocking him to sleep. It is hard to be a part of a strategic conversation with 45 other people. It is significantly harder when your attention is divided between following the dialogue and entertaining a two year old autistic boy. I sang “The Wheels on the Bus” under my breath to my son as we walked thousands of times in those meetings.
The back of the room is for people who want to be a part of the movement but cannot engage fully and want to leave space for others to participate without distraction. The back of the room can be lonely and isolating and you sometimes wonder if you are doing anyone any good or if you should just go find something else to do. But there is no room that is any easier.
When I drop my daughter off at 1st grade I walk her to class. I often see the common area with the lights turned out and a man with a 3rd grade boy pacing. They are alone and they are trying to figure out what to do in order to help the boy re-engage with his peers. I know that story as well. The dark room is where you go when the back of the room is insufficient. It is a dim, quiet place where energy can be worked out without bothering others. It is a room where strategies are developed and social skills are worked on and loins are girded to try again.
To Paul’s credit, he checked on the drama that occurred in the back of the room. The boy that fell out of the window was dead…but he got better. Paul checked on him and then went back to the front of the room to keep teaching and debating. The boy was alive and the people felt relieved that God had done a miracle and the all-nighter had not morphed into a tragedy.
God sees the back of the room and all its residents. He sees the effort to stay. He sees the creativity to engage. He sees the fear of rejection and isolation. He sees the late arrivals and early departures and hears every single shush. For those of us who live our lives in the back of the room, I simply offer this: God hangs out there too. The message that He speaks back there may be different than the one that is coming from up front, but it is real and it is authentic and it is spoken by God specifically for you and your heart. Do what you need to do…go when you need to go…but know that while every eye in the building may be facing forward, God’s attention is squarely focused on you and your child.
A moment to reflect:
Offer encouragement to someone who resides in the back of the room this week. I know you see them; let them know that you see them as well.
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