June 22nd

Jesus’ Baptism

            In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. And just as he was coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending like a dove on him. And a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.”

Mark 1:9-11

    

            There are few things more precious and more life-giving to a son than hearing affirmation from his father.  There is something deeply meaningful about having your parent say that they are proud of you that cannot be duplicated by anyone else.  It has the power to build up character and confidence and allow the child to stand against the criticism and insecurities that the world would throw at them.  If a child knows that their parent is pleased with them and proud of them, they can withstand just about anything.

            Jesus was in that place.  He had spent thirty years growing into the most over-qualified carpenter in history.  His public ministry was about to begin.  But before that launched, he went to the River Jordan to be baptized.  He had no sins that He needed to repent of.  He did not need to submit to the wisdom and teaching of His cousin, John.  He did not need to fit in with the crowds who were going into the wilderness to see the new prophet.  He did not need any of this, but He went and was baptized anyway. 

            When He emerged from the waters of baptism, he encountered God.  His Father spoke affirmation.  The Spirit of God, the bonds of love shared between Father and Son, was present in the form of a dove. And with those few words of encouragement and support, Jesus had everything that He needed to enter into ministry.  He went into the wilderness to be tested and tempted by Satan knowing that His Father was proud of who He was and the path that He was on.

            Humanity is starving for affirmation.  People turn to empty relationships or workaholism or they self-medicate with drugs and alcohol because they desperately long to have someone or something tell them that they are worthwhile and valuable.  They stay in bad relationships or develop eating disorders so that they will be affirmed and praised.  They will endure lousy jobs and toxic environments just to receive a little dose of self-esteem. 

            Our kids are in that same position.  They long to be valued.  They yearn to be affirmed.  They desperately want approval from someone…no.  Not someone.  You.  They desperately want approval and praise and pride to come from you.  They long for their parents to be pleased with them and proud of them just like every child.  And sometimes it is hard for us to communicate that to them.

            Maybe you are proud of who they are and what they have accomplished and you tell them and get no response back.  Did they hear it?  Do they understand it?  Do your words matter at all?  They do.  If you don’t know whether your child understood your affirmation or not, try all sorts of communication methods.  Speak it to them.  Sing it to them.  Write it for them.  Communicate it through hugs.  See if anything registers a spark with them.  If it does, great.  Keep doing that.  If it does not, just know that somewhere, deep down, those affirmations are being internalized and fueling your child to endure and strive for another day.

            Maybe you are not proud of your child’s accomplishments.  You only praise the best; average grades and simple participation ribbons do not merit honor.  I understand that you want the best for your child.  I understand that you do not want them to settle and you want them to strive for excellence.  I do.  But those are issues of performance and value and self-worth that you are carrying from your own upbringing that you need to work through; you do not need to pass those to your child.  God sees you and your child as priceless treasures, full of beauty and value.  You need not achieve one more thing in this world for Him to love you any more.  Your kid engages each day, even when all the odds are stacked against them.  They fight with their bodies and their minds and their environments to try to meet the expectations of everyone that they encounter.  Does that mean that their math scores are probably lower then they could be?  Yes.  Does that mean that they are not the star of their athletic team?  Probably.  Do they deserve your admiration and affection and support and praise for powering through each and every day?  A thousand times yes.  Tell your son you are proud of him.  Tell you daughter you are delighted by her.  Watch as the stress bleeds away and their eyes light up.  That is a power that you have to transform your child’s life.  Do not let it be wasted.

A moment to reflect:

Tell your child how proud of them you are today.