May 20th

Ananias and Sapphira:  The Problem of Giving

             But a man named Ananias, with the consent of his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property; with his wife’s knowledge, he kept back some of the proceeds, and brought only a part and laid it at the apostles’ feet. “Ananias,” Peter asked, “why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back part of the proceeds of the land?  While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, were not the proceeds at your disposal? How is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You did not lie to us but to God!”  Now when Ananias heard these words, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard of it.  The young men came and wrapped up his body, then carried him out and buried him.   After an interval of about three hours his wife came in, not knowing what had happened.  Peter said to her, “Tell me whether you and your husband sold the land for such and such a price.” And she said, “Yes, that was the price.”  Then Peter said to her, “How is it that you have agreed together to put the Spirit of the Lord to the test? Look, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out.” Immediately she fell down at his feet and died. When the young men came in they found her dead, so they carried her out and buried her beside her husband. And great fear seized the whole church and all who heard of these things.

Acts 5:1-11

The early church was a remarkable group.  Their numbers grew every day as the apostles preached and performed miracles.  They ate together and prepared themselves for the return of the Messiah.  There were many foreigners in their group who were far removed from their homes and funds.  If there were members of the church who were in need, someone would volunteer to sell some of their land or some of their possessions in order to help those who were lacking.  Giving was not required, but it was something that people noticed and applauded.

Enter Ananias and Sapphira.  They were believers and members of this new group.  They saw other members of their community and wanted to help…but they had their limits.  They wanted to be affirmed for their great faith and their sacrifice to others but they did not want to risk ending up being poor and needy, so they devised a plan.  They would sell some land and bring most of the proceeds to the apostles while keeping the rest to themselves.  That way they would be both celebrated and protected.  It was a perfect plan.

Except it was not.  God told Peter that Ananias was lying.  Peter condemned Ananias and he died.  Then Sapphira showed up and the process repeated.  The two bodies were carried away and a great fear gripped the newly-born church.  Ananias and Sapphira were not forced to sell their property and give to the church.  They wanted to help, but beyond that they wanted to be seen helping and that was where God struck them down.  They gave to be rewarded with praise and respect and promotion and God was not having it.

Giving does not come easily to me.  My parents are amazing givers who dedicated part of their income to helping their neighbors and the world.  My wife loves giving money to amazing people and movements around the world.  Every check that I write is through gritted teeth and anxiety.  What if an emergency happens and we are not able to pay for it?  What if a school field trip pops up or a friend’s birthday party or we miraculously find baby sitters and are actually able to have a date night?  Every tithe payment, every donation to every church or charity or non-profit is a challenge for me.  Part of it is that I have trust issues about how the money will be used.  But mostly I am afraid that if we give money away we will be the ones that are lacking and needing the help.  So I guess that I also have trust issues with God about whether he will take care of us. 

I am profoundly aware of the cost of every one of my days.  I fall asleep every night exhausted by the day that I just had.  There are the financial costs of eating and a house and a car and all the other pieces of our daily routine.  There are the time costs that come with a job and the chores of life.  Dishes, shopping, recreation, maintenance and bills all take time.  There are the relational and emotional costs that come from interacting with others during the day.  Co-workers and clients and customers all need to be managed and encouraged and have their questions answered throughout the day.  The kids all need attention and affirmation and correction and instruction in a way that grows them instead of propelling them towards therapy.  At some point it would be great if I could interact with my wife…and then I should probably talk with God somewhere in the day as well.

I am jealous of all of it.  I do not easily surrender my money or my time or my emotional energy because I know.  I know that it can be used to invest in my family and their growth and development or it can be used elsewhere.  If I am being asked to give it somewhere else, there had better be an incredibly good reason.

Sometimes the incredibly good reason to give is so that my heart can grow and there can be room for God.  If I am desperately holding on to my resources, there is no room for God to come along side and pour out blessings on those that I hold most dear.  Sometimes we need to step into a place of lack and need in order to meet the God of Infinite Resources.  Sometimes we give in order to know that God is holding us in His hands.

I am still very conservative in where I give my time, money and energy, but I have come to a place where it is no longer soul-wrenching.  That is progress.

A moment to reflect:

Where do you like to give outside of your family?