February 19th

Deborah’s Song

“In the days of Shamgar son of Anath, in the days of Jael, caravans ceased and travelers kept to the byways.
The peasantry prospered in Israel they grew fat on plunder, because you arose, Deborah, arose as a mother in Israel.
When new gods were chosen, then war was in the gates. Was shield or spear to be seen among forty thousand in Israel?
My heart goes out to the commanders of Israel who offered themselves willingly among the people. Bless the Lord.

“Tell of it, you who ride on white donkeys, you who sit on rich carpets and you who walk by the way.
To the sound of musicians at the watering places, there they repeat the triumphs of the Lord, the triumphs of his peasantry in Israel.  Then down to the gates marched the people of the Lord.

“Awake, awake, Deborah!  Awake, awake, utter a song!  Arise, Barak, lead away your captives, O son of Abinoam.

Judges 5: 6-12

            I am not a huge fan of music.  I spent most of my teenage years underwater with the swim team instead of listening to the radio or watching MTV.  My favorite part of singing in church is figuring out creative harmonies.  My eyes tend to glaze over as I read the Psalms and I always skip through the songs as I read the Lord of the Rings.

            All that being said, I wanted to highlight Deborah’s song…not because it is groovy and you can dance to it.  This is her signature moment.  This is her response to God’s great deliverance from Israel’s oppressors.  She could have given a speech or held a party or marched to conquer other enemies.  Instead she chooses to reflect and celebrate through song.  Once again, she does not fit the model of Ancient World leaders.  Her general, Barak, joins in as well, figuring that this is what people who hear from God do.

            I am convinced that my son has a playlist that constantly runs through his head.  There are always sounds that are leaking out of him: humming, beatboxing, chirping, singing, hissing, clicking…sometimes the tunes and rhythms are recognizable.  Often they are not and he does not know that they are escaping.  We’ve had conversations with teachers about him needing to stop singing during math tests.  Some of it is just self stimming, but there is a deep musical aspect to this young man. 

            As parents we have tried to recognize and encourage this gift…and been met with abject rejection.  A drum set?  We got him one which was then destroyed in favor of banging on pots and tables.  Saxophone lessons?  Bass Guitar Lessons?  Piano Lessons?  We’ll do them for a while and then get frustrated on a lack of progress and stop.  Interested in choir? Oh, no no no.  A thousand times no.  And when we do force him to sing out loud (during Christmas caroling or singing with the church Sunday morning), the music comes out with such incredible volume and intensity that I have to shush him.  Sometimes even when we discover things that our kids enjoy and are good at, there are internal roadblocks.

            And then this past Christmas Eve there was something different.  We were at the church service, singing carols and then I hear my son harmonizing perfectly with his sister.  No tears.  No angst.  Just having fun with others with music.  I don’t know why.  I did not see the progression that made this a logical conclusion.  The alchemy of his mind just put everything together and made this incredible moment. 

            Sometimes we put in hard work and we get the win.  Sometimes we put in hard work and we get the loss.  Sometimes we get the win and we don’t know why.  What that suggests to me is that there is more going on than just how hard we work with our kids.  God is at work within them in addition to whatever we are doing with them.  There is an entire internal process that I have no clue about and when I see it playing out I can choose to question and analyze or I can choose to follow Deborah’s lead as she was caught up in something bigger than herself:  I can celebrate and I can be filled with gratitude and I can sing about God’s goodness.

A moment to reflect:

When have you seen your child’s internal process coming out?