July 24

The Death of Stephen

            When they heard these things, they became enraged and ground their teeth at Stephen.  But filled with the Holy Spirit, he gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. “Look,” he said, “I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!”  But they covered their ears, and with a loud shout all rushed together against him.  Then they dragged him out of the city and began to stone him; and the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul.  While they were stoning Stephen, he prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.”  Then he knelt down and cried out in a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he died.

Acts 7:54-60

            Stephen was arrested and brought before the religious leaders of Israel.  His accusers claimed that he spoke against the temple and the Law and that Jesus would change their customs.  The religious leaders asked Stephen if the accusation was true.  He then proceeded to give a speech which left the entire room so angry…so irate…that grown, educated men were grinding their teeth and plugging their ears and hauling Stephen out of the city so that they could kill him right then and there, the laws of the Romans be damned.

            What did Stephen say that fueled such rage and venom?  He gave them a history lesson.  But not the sanitized history that they learned in school.  Stephen started with Abraham and then laid out how their ancestors had always been offered the goodness and direction of God and had rejected it.  As God was giving the 10 Commandments, the people were creating a golden idol to worship.  As God would send prophets, the people would kill them.  The Israelites had a long history of rejecting the voice of their God and the religious leaders of Stephen’s day had followed in their ancestors’ footsteps by killing Jesus, the son of God.  For a group of men whose only job was hearing and understanding God’s voice and leading the people in remaining true to that voice, this was a bitter pill to swallow.  So they killed him…proving his point.

            One of the fastest ways to make people unreasonably angry is to question their traditions and beliefs.  This is especially true when you call into question their family history or their nation’s history or how they or their people came into power.  The Israelites were taught that they were God’s chosen people and if they would simply follow the rules that their leaders gave to them, God’s favor would return.  They would reclaim the greatness of their past and move into a future of prosperity.   Stephen’s counter argument was that God had been gracious to His children even though they had consistently ignored Him and killed His messengers.

            As a white, middle-class man in my forties, the nation that I live in is designed for me to succeed.  I assume that the systems of law and justice will keep me safe and protected.  I assume that tax law will provide services that I need while not costing me too much money.  I assume that I will be able to get a job when I want one.  A funny thing happened when I had a special needs child.  I could not pass those assumptions on to my child because they were not necessarily true.

            My son will learn to drive some day.  When he does, we are going to have to teach him how to be stopped by the police.  We will have to go over how to give them the right documents and answer respectfully and keep calm hands.  If I get pulled over, I can get embarrassed and flustered, but my assumption is that the worst case scenario is that I get a ticket.  If my autistic son is pulled over, the worst case scenario gets really bad, really fast.  I have read plenty of accounts of people on the spectrum ending up in jail or worse because they could not stop the situation from escalating.

            Similarly, there are tax code laws about how much money IDD individuals can make and still qualify for services.  I had a client who lost their aide and their therapy for several months because their PFD was direct deposited into the wrong account.  As a result they lost their apartment and their job and all forward progress that they had been working on for 3 years.

            One of the strange gifts of being a special needs parent is that it has opened my eyes to some of what life is like for people who are not white, middle-class men.  The system is not fair.  It does not work for everyone.  When we talk about reclaiming the greatness of America’s past, we tend to forget or not believe that those years were not great, good, or humane for some parts of our population. 

            This line of thought will make some of you mad for a variety of reasons.  What I know is this:  Before I let my son drive, we will be practicing police stops over and over again.  My father never had to do that for me.  

A moment to reflect:

What are some ways that you prepare your child for unfair systems?